Dating tips from a Penguin
My parents had an arranged marriage. They didn’t see one another in person except on the day of their marriage. They got married and then fell in love with each other. They are also the happiest married couple I have seen in my life by far! ❤️ All they knew about each other before getting married was that they both came from respectable families and that my dad had a job and my mom was educated. And of course, she looked beautiful and my dad is a handsome man. That seemed enough to tie the knot. But is this example a testimony in favour of arranged marriages? Well, it could be for some but I don’t think it is for me. I believe my mom and dad were extremely lucky that they found each other and were so compatible. Don’t get me wrong - I think they both had to work hard on their relationship. It is never all roses. But I do think that they both are generally very compatible people and won a lottery with each other. You won’t see me complaining 😊
Dating in the 21st century can be hard though. Especially if you come from a culture of arranged marriages and your own parents have set a high bar whereas you are a borderline hopeless romantic, hell bent on finding your own person at your own pace and by yourself 😅 I was recently reading an article about how Penguins date and found it intriguing enough to share. The article talked about things that most of us already know but can serve as a reminder. I paraphrase below and add my own thoughts.
Find your bearings - Penguins seem clear on their non-negotiables. What they absolutely want versus what they absolutely don’t. Having clarity like that and knowing your deal breakers helps make decisions. Many people, however, don’t realize what they want. Match.com’s president Amarnath Thombre discovered a discrepancy between what people said they wanted in their partner versus the people they contacted on the website [1]. Interesting finding indeed and some food for thought.
Let your quirks out - Penguins make distinctive calls (vocalizations) and use their unique scent to attract their mates. In human terms, for the right person, it’s those quirks of yours and individual traits that will make you stand-out from the masses and be attractive to your partner. So don’t feel shy flaunting those quirks and showing off your eccentricities!
Stop rushing - Rome wasn’t built in a day. Penguins spend a considerable amount of time looking for their mates and even when found, they go through a courtship ritual in which they bow, preen, and call each other[3]. I think what this translates for humans is that we need to slow down a bit, cherish the journey, and not panic when we are single and trying to find our partners. Stay positive and keep moving without sprinting.
The right partner - Penguins spend time finding the right partner for them to mate[4]. The idea of the right partner goes beyond just “settling down with “someone”. “Good enough” is rarely good enough when it comes to life partners. You shouldn’t shortchange yourself when it comes to finding love as there is nothing more lovely than being with the right companion who chooses you, appreciates you, loves you for who you are, and you both truly want to be with each other and make it work.
Take the plunge - Penguins live in ice-cold conditions where there is scarcity of food[5]. But they aren’t afraid of the weather. They live and thrive in those conditions. When it comes to dating, you got to sometimes take a leap of faith and dive deep. Be open and vulnerable to someone new. Try new things, go on that adventurous date you have always wanted to go to. Be brave and throw caution to the winds!
Invest in yourself - Penguins diligently build their nest as pretty and neat as possible to attract the right mates[6]. When it comes to the dating world, you can’t leave behind everything and just focus on finding your partner. You have your own life to live! You got to be happy by yourself. The right partner is only gonna make you happier. Pursue things that you love, meet new people and make friends, travel and explore new places, try different cuisines, learn an instrument, or just dance your heart out. Happy generally attracts happy. So while you might be on your journey to find your right partner, don’t forget to live in the moment and cherish all that you have around yourself.
Good luck!
References:
https://time.com/aziz-ansari-modern-romance/
https://seaworld.org/animals/all-about/penguins/communication/
https://www.livescience.com/40874-animal-sex-penguins.html
https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/how-do-penguins-find-their-mate-in-a-sea-of-tuxedos
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2023/02/08/where-do-penguins-live/10525425002/
https://www.penguinsinternational.org/2019/10/01/penguin-architecture/